(11:49:45 PM) Boyfriend: i will protect you
(11:49:49 PM) Boyfriend: from zombies and rape
(11:49:55 PM) Me: and zombie rapists
(11:50:04 PM) Boyfriend: especially those

Just in case, It’s good to know things like this.

So in every dorm there are RAs and usually their job is just to make sure no one dies or causes disruptions. Otherwise, they should stay in their rooms and be around for questions.

My RA is absolutely awesome. I eat dinner with her and we share drunk stories and gossip. She’s hella cool. But her staff is not quite as awesome as she is.

There is one RA in my Dorm that seems to think he is God’s gift to discipline, and that he must enforce as many rules as possible, but at the same time, he has absolutely no boundaries.

Now, I might be slightly bitter that he wrote up a friend of mine for drinking with absolutely no real evidence other than the fact that he “smelled” like beer. Suuure… But regardless, that’s not my major complaint about him.

For some reason, this RA, who we all call “Pony Tail” because he has long hair that he always pulls back in a tight, girly pony tail, seems to think he does not have any boundaries and because he is an RA, he can say whatever we wants to us.

The first time I felt he wasn’t sure where to draw the line was when I was watching tv with him and some other people and he starts telling us about his sexual exploits. He tells us that he’s all about pleasing the woman, and he doesn’t care if the woman reciprocates. Then he shares with us that he has done everything but vaginal sex, because he is just scared of babies.

I had a major WTF?! moment right then. Dude, you don’t share that with people. *shudder*

The second time I had a run in with Pony Tail was while I was sitting in my room with the door open, and I was texting my boyfriend when he walks in. I shut my phone since I don’t want him to read it, to which he goes “ohhh someone is having text sex!” he didn’t know I was texting my boyfriend. Then he turns to my roommate and goes “You’re roommate is a dirty whore!”

…..WTF DUDE. When is it EVER okay to call a girl a dirty whore? At that moment, I no longer respected him. He barges into my room, accuses me of sexual acts, and then with no basis calls me a dirty whore? SO NOT OKAY.

But that’s just my run ins with him. He has also talked to girls in my hall. One girl told us that he walks into her room, and has a twenty minute conversation with her about her period and birth control. Another girl reported him talking to her about sex. And for some reason he felt it was okay to call another girl “Porn Girl.”

Now, I know for a fact that it’s not okay for any guy to say these things. And he is an authority figure. No one respects him.

Talk about some serious sexual harassment.

We reported him to our RA, and he has been thus forth told to not go near our corridor. Hopefully the rest of the corridors will start reporting him too because I know there are more complaints.

The one thing every man hates is “The Chick Flick,” or the movie his woman forces him to watch that he will later have to either deny till his death to his man friends that he saw it, or claim temporary insanity. However, I feel like men underestimate the power of a chick flick. Nothing puts women in the mood more than watching other women find true love, which always seems to happen at the end of a chick flick.

Now, people will always use the movie theatre to make out, and if you’re feeling extra randy and daring, oral attention. That’s one more thing I envy about men. Not only can they pee standing up, but its much less difficult for them to get oral attention in public places. Back to the point. While some people see the theatre as the ideal place for this, renting a chick flick and taking it home to cozy up and watch can be so much more rewarding.

Girls should only take their girl friends and their gay friends to see chick flicks in theatres. Not the boyfriends.

But, when renting and cozying up to watch the elusive chick flick, men should not cringe at the thought! Think about what women want. We want that idea relationship and true love. What better to brain wash us into thinking he might have that than a chick flick?

By the end of the movie, if the man is still awake, there is an excellent chance that all the pent up sexual tension from the movie will be transfered. While the woman may not be say…..thinking of you in particular, you’ll still be getting some.

I know personally, at the end of a chick flick, all I want to do is make out with someone. Then have a pillow fight in my underwear with all my chick friends, but that might just be because we usually watch chick flicks at sleepovers and that’s just the logical aftermath.

So men, next time your woman wants to stay home and watch a movie, suggest a chick flick. She’ll cuddle you during the sad parts, might even cry. Be excited, that means she’s really into it. Then at the end, when she is swooning and you hear that heavy oh so dream-like sigh, that’s when you put your arm around her and kiss her cheek. I can almost promise every time this will end in a heavy make out session. Now, oral sex and actual intercourse, not guaranteed. That depends on your game.

It should always be know that it is a bad idea, if you are a man, to talk about your sexual exploits. For one thing, it’s not very classy. And two, no girl appreciates the funny looks.

Now, to be honest, it never really bothered me until a few weekends ago, when my boyfriend decided that a few people needed to know about one of our more adventurous escapades.

We made some crazy monkey love in our work place. Well, his former work place, and my current one. Now, I don’t mind if certain people know. For one thing, my boss knows, and a few of my coworkers know. But it’s okay, because my boss totally owned up to having done it too. I’m pretty sure that’s why he took my key though.
Well, my boyfriend, a few weeks ago, went a mutual friend’s going away party. I was captive in this small, desolate, no mall, ohio town so I could not grace them with my presence.
He got drunk. Big surprise there. Love him, but a loose lipped drunk.
And well, turns out he told two of his old friends from work, people I had never met before, what he and I had done.

Now, this wouldn’t bother me, except that those two people have come back. Not to work, but to take classes. (I work in a Taekowndo school.) Well, when I get home, I’m going to have to meet these people.
What will be their first impression of me? No, not another bad ass black belt  that trained at the same school as them. Nooo.
I’m going to be the girl their little buddy fucked on the mats. can’t you just taste the bitterness?
Now I’m a little reluctant to go home.

Is it okay that he did that? Should I be as bothered as I am?

I guess I feel like it’s weird that all these people know about me, before even meeting me, is my sex life.

So last night, around 10pm, my ex boyfriend gives me a call. This was very weird. We haven’t spoken on the phone since he called me to apologize for screaming at me, calling me a slut, and saying he never wanted to talk to me again two weeks earlier. That was about three months ago. We text occasionally, but really he is too busy to really hold a conversation with me and I don’t care enough to put the effort into being friends anymore.

But last night, I get a phone call, and it’s him, and it was surreal. We dated for about a year and a half or so, maybe a little less, and it was a pretty intense relationship. Really strong feelings. I have a really hard time getting over all of it, but I did, and I’m good now. But each time he comes back, it’s weird.

I guess when you learn to live without something for so long, when it comes back, it screws you up regardless of how you actually feel about it. I had a hard time getting to sleep last night.

But the conversation was interesting. I asked him what all was new, and he preceded to tell me “I’m single. That’s about it.” Which, I knew already since he had texted me earlier that month informing me of his breaking up with his girlfriend, who I lovingly refer to as HB (Hoe Beast). It’s true, I hate her with a passion. Bitch stabbed me in the back. Whatever, it’s all good.  I didn’t really care why they broke up, but I was curious. Apparently “the feelings we no longer there.” Hmm, this rang a bell, pretty sure that’s that DH (Dunder Head aka Justin, my other ex) told me. Of course, he cheated on me, and that’s why he broke up with me. meh.

Then my ex, we’ll call him DB, asks me how things are with “What’s his name” who is my new boyfriend, who I have been dating 5 months tomorrow! eeee! =D Sorry, exceptionally girly moment there.

It was awkward because for some odd reason, I don’t feel very comfortable talking about my new boyfriend with my old boyfriend. He was persistent though, wanted to know what all had changed, if anything was new. When I said I didn’t understand, or that nothing was really new, he replied with the sarcastic “yeeeaaaaah,” like he didn’t believe me. I’m assuming he wanted to know what all we had done sexually, if we were getting serious, etc. He wanted to know if I was happy. I politely replied that I didn’t want to talk about that and that we are quite happy. Then I played things down a bit to end all the questioning.

I thought it would be a bad idea to mention that I’m on BC now, that I plan on sticking with this new relationship as long as possible, and that I am in love. Oh, and that he is dayum good. teehee

I’d just rather lie, and avoid these subjects. I don’t need him thinking any less of me. Not that I care so much, since  he hates my party habits, but I don’t like when people think less of me, not him imparticular.

Other than that, the conversation was normal and friendly. He always throws those weird comments that make me wonder about if he is over me or not. Srsly. I’m over him. I have a few unresolved personal issues with it, but really, I am over it.

The surreal part was the fact that he feels like a thing of the past. It was like talking to a dead person on the phone. I still remembered his voice, and that was bizarre. I guess it’s one of those things you never forget.

-sigh- alright, sorry, that uber-personal and not interesting at all. Just something I needed to talk about so I’ll be able to sleep tonight. Thought it might be best that I don’t discuss it with my boyfriend.

Hmm, I feel like consoling myself with a big cheeseburger from Micky D’s. Mmmm tasty.

So yesterday I dropped my boy like the hot shit he thinks he is. I was at a party and talking to a friend of mine from Psych class, and my boy decided to, in a drunken rage, “take it outside.” No fighting actually occurred, since my boy couldn’t really stand. But needless to say, he made a fool of himself, and me.

Now as a good girlfriend who had a few drinks herself, I forgave him. It was later that night that he thought he was going to score for his “deeds” that I got pissed.

Boys should know better.

So anyway, I kicked his ass to the curb, and now I’m single again. I’m not too upset about this. Single life is pretty awesome in college. But I definitely don’t intend to stay out of the game.

Be prepared for my various escapades. bwahaha. yeah.

Caught a cold last night though, so not feeling too hot right now. Boy scouting will resume as soon as I can complete a sentence without hacking up a lung.

So tonight my boy came over, and out of no where, he brought me flowers! For no reason other than he knew I was having a hard week. How sweet is that? Granted, its not the first time I have gotten flowers from a boy, but it sure is the sweetest thing any boy has done for me in a very long time. I was just really touched by it. I’m a little out of, since it is so late right now, but I am so happy!

Ah, tonight has been wonderful. Too bad I have to wait a week till I get to see my boy again. School and soccer breed such busy schedules for us both, but hey, it makes the wait for the weekend SO worth it! haha, especially for moments like tonight.

Boys remember: All girls LOVE flowers.