Now, I’m planning to complete my major in Creative writing, and maybe something on the side. So far, I’m really enjoying it. But I have to be honest, I have a serious problem with other Creative Writing Majors, and it’s all for one simple reason:

They will use the most ridiculous diction and syntax as well as metaphorical ideas just to sound as intelligent as possible.

I suppose we fancy ourselves better writers than everyone else, which results in a nasty superiority complex. But it drives me nuts. Something you can say so easily, but a CWM has to go and intellectualize it.

I see no reason why a “creative” piece of writing has to sound so “intelligent” for it to be good. Some of the best literature I’ve ever read has been down to earth style. Not everyone has to be Charles Dickens.

So if anyone else is considering it as a major, please, do everyone a favor, and deflate your ego before you write anything.

Even though the average person doesn’t even read, one would hope that if such a mediocre human life form would happen to fall across a book which may in some way assist their education, that they would be able to understand it.

It took me right around 10 hours, but I finished it.

I was really surprised, I spent so long avoiding spoilers. But there wasn’t really anything to spoil.

You saw that ending coming since day one.

But it was still uber badass.

Oh! and for the record, My boyfriend (who ditched me to get the book at midnight), I finished before he did, and I got the book at 10:30am the next day.

My best friend was just starting to get along with her ex, who she wants to remain close friends with. Being the complete child he is, he “deletes” her from facebook for no apparent reason. Interesting.

Apparently, He heard a rumor she had slept with one of his best friends. I tell him, “noo! This is utterly ridiculous!”

So I tell her why he is apparently angry. She calls me sobbing.

“I didn’t want to tell you… because he was your ex!”

I laughed. Honestly? She slept with her ex’s BEST friend, who is also my ex boy friend. Now, granted, I greatly dislike this particular ex boyfriend. I feel like he lucked out having gotten to sleep with her!

But honestly, the stuff that happens these days, could be a movie.

Sometime I wish they’d all go back to fucking highschool. *sigh*

It seriously sucks getting uninvited to things.

Now I don’t get to see Harry Potter 5.

On the list of thing I never thought I’d do, kissing a stripper was probably right up there around 3 or 4.

Last night I went out with some of my favorite people, My boyfriend, and two friends from my TKD school, and we went to Nightshift — a strip club. It was my first time, and my she-friends first time. Sure, it was a little awkward at first, walking in seeing this naked woman doing some nasty dancing for some skeevy middle aged men, but we sat down in the fun rolling chairs, and offered up some ones. God strip joints are fun.

I think it is a necessary thing for every person to go to a strip club at least once and stick singles in a woman’s well….anywhere you can put it really.

My friend had a fake, so she could drink, and she was really enjoying the night. The best part is when you get them to take the money. My friend had it down her shirt, the stripper (bare vagina naked mind you) snatched the dollar from her tube top and does a little licking/sucking. Talk about awkward! Then, the girl grabs me by the shirt, puts the dollar in my mouth and its a little kiss-exchange. No really, I honestly never thought I would ever kiss a stripper. But, I suppose it’s one more thing to cross off my list. Then the next stripper says to me, “Let me show you something. You have to reach!” and has me put the dollar in her ass crack.

So yeah, you know, anywhere you can put the dollar, you’re good. And for the record, that’s why money is dirty.
My boyfriend mind you, is sitting right next to me. He had asked me when we walked in, “so what can I do?” Lets be realistic, I don’t really care what he does, as long as he brings the lovin’ back home to me. But the one rule was, “Think it, don’t say it.” I’d rather not know how extensively he knows strip clubs.

A stripper had his named tattooed on her leg. We all got a good laugh about that. She claimed her name was tattooed on his ass. I might have to check next time. hah.

My she-friend then was guilted into a lap dance - they always go for the drunk girls. She found it very awkward to talk about school and college for 10 minutes while the girl took off her top and nipple-licked. Oh, the visual.

I picked the girl I thought my boyfriend should get a lap dance from. She was totally hot. But she left before he got a chance — so sad. But man, those things are steep. $60 dollars? I’d rather just fish singled into a g-string and critique the strippers’ bodies.

You know in general, good bodies but icky saggy boobs. Some of them I would hope could maybe afford some boob jobs and maybe jump start their career a little more.

Is it awkward to point out to your boyfriend that the woman dancing naked in front of both of you has a clit piercing? yeah, I looked.

Eventually they closed and we all had to head home. I smelled like an ash tray, we got lost trying to get home, and we had to drop my drunk ass friend off at her house. By the time we got back to our cars, it was 3am. We had gone out at 11:30pm.

The only disappointment was that my boyfriend and I, but mostly him, were too tired to partake in any exciting activities, even after an entire night of naked dancing women! But what can ya do?

Just know, that as a father, a man has one purpose in life. And that is to keep his daughter off the pole.