This has been an incredibly boring day. I got up around 9:30am, which means I had to endure more of the day than usual. Sadly, it was a broken sleep anyway, so it wasn’t as if I was all that well rested anyway. Apparently, my friends still enjoy calling me around 3am, while I am sleeping soundly after a long day of work, to tell me that they are “plastered” and “covered in sharpie.” Now, I appreciate the thought, I mean, how sweet of you to think of me while you’re intoxicated! None the less, I woke up tired, but not tired enough to sleep anymore.

I ended up taking a shower, and getting all “beautified” with intentions of going to the mall. However, this plan fell through when I realized how sunny and beautiful it was outside (because apparently, from the time I got up to the time I put nice clothes and makeup on, I had not bothered to look out a window.) I figured I would use the sun to my advantaged and laied out side in the sun for a good half hour. I think I may have fallen asleep because I’m feeling a bit lobsterish at the moment.

I felt somewhat productive, so I went and did some situps. I’m pretty sure they are useless.

The nice thing though, was I got to enjoy the weather and waste time on the computer at the same time. Lappy (my lap top with an absolutely horrible charge-retention time) to the rescue!

But of course, now I’m back inside since it’s dark, and I’m bored. I just spent at least an hour putting all my downloaded music into folders only to realize that i would then have to relink all the of the music so itunes could find it. God Damn waste of time, since I just got rid of all the folders anyway.

Gah, need to stop scratching my sunburn(s).

Also, here’s something interesting. I’m writing a manifesto. Details on that later.

I wish I had something to do rather than babble on here, just..so…bored….

I really tried to avoid this topic, not because of a lack of compassion, but more that it’s actually really hard for me to deal with things like this. I’ve been talking to different people about it, giving my view on the whole ordeal, and it wasn’t till the other night while I caught it on the news that I was really affected by it. It’s hard to watch other people hurt, whether I know them or not.

The scary thing is, I knew two guys that were supposed to be in the actual classroom, but had decided to sleep in that morning. That hit so close to home, it was really scary. One of them has lived down the street from me for 9 years.

It’s a tragedy. And it’s awful. And I’ve said it so many times, but it really would only have taken one person to really make a difference in that guys life. Or maybe he was screwed up from early on, then why was he allowed in school? There should be psychological tests to get into school. Or something. I dunno…

I just hope it doesn’t happen again.

You have my support.

I’m super psyched about my bootleg DVD quality edition of 300!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAY!!!

I’m going to pop it in and watch it while I do some situps now.

eeee abfest!

So I work at a Tae kwon do school, and teach a lot of children. I always love messing with the children because well, lets face it, they are not all the brightest crayons in the box. Unfortunately, martial arts tend to draw both athletes, but also those who need to learn to protect themselves because of their nerdy/geekyness (like my boyfriend… I mean… oops.)

I never like to miss an opportunity to scar a child, frighten them, or just plain make them cry. Call me cruel, but someone has to give these kids a tough skin. Plus standing for 4 hours every day and counting can get a little old. I need to liven things up a little.

The other night at work, I had a fantastic opportunity, and I took it.

There is a program at my school call the Little Ninjas for children 4-6 years old. I’m usually in charge of these kids. I know, what were they thinking?

So the kid asks me, while I’m trying to teach no less, how old I am. I reply quite frankly:

“I am 112 years old, but I drink the blood of children to stay looking young.”

He stares at me a moment, trying to comprehend what I just said. Then says:

“But you look 21….”

In response, I add:

“I only look 21 because I drink the blood of children. Now be quiet before I drink your blood. I feel like I’m starting to look 22.”

He didn’t say a word for the rest of class. He probably went home and told his mom and I’m going to go back to a serious complaint.

It was worth it though. Totally worth it. That kid wont look at me the same ever again, I’ll bet.

ahahahahahahahahaha! *turns into a bat and flys away*

almost forgot…

Have you hugged your tree today?

Today has been the nicest day so far this year. Granted, it was about 40 all last week, I’m thinking 84 is a pretty nice change. This of course sparked the usual array of garage sales and BBQs one would expect. I used to frequent garage sales to rummage through the “treasures” that people were throwing away to further decorate my room, but I still refuse to talk to the mutants that live next door, and I wasn’t about to rummage through their junk. They were probably selling body parts around back anyway. I’m sure they were giving “special deals” on parts that could be used for identification. Teeth, fingers, etc.

But the best part of the day is that I have yet to wear anything other than a swim suit. The days I don’t have to wear real clothes are truly the best days. I got a bunch of yard work done, which included power washing the chairs and sidewalk. Yes, I was trusted with a powerful stream of water which can, as was proven, be used as a very effective weapon. I wonder if the cops would search my car if I had one in the back seat. Like I always say, anything can be a weapon (of mass destruction) if you try hard enough. Just like Demitri M000 says about walk in closets. No, his name isn’t actually M000, I just can’t remember his name. He has a special on comedy central though.

Of course, a day like this wouldn’t be complete without a good hour of laying in the sun, which of course results in an awful sunburn along my shoulders. I was proactive though, and had my Aloe Vera handy. Hopefully that will keep my “tan” from peeling. Just a few more sessions of this and I’ll have that healthy skin-cancer glow just in time for summer!

Why do people put so much emphasis on tans? What is so appealing about it? My guess is that it makes you look like you spend time outside. One more way technology has allowed us to cheat the world.

I heard about this man who sued his wife after she gave birth to and ugly baby. Apparently, she had undergone extensive plastic surgery to look hawt, and didn’t tell him. So then they had an ugly baby, and I guess the man felt cheated.

In a way its like cheating the system. We get these fake tans, have plastic surgery, and get things added and removed all the time to look more appealing and get laid. Darwin’s theory is getting shot to hell. If naturally really hairy people keep getting their hair removed, it’s going to stop the evolution from hairy monkeys to not so hairy people.

Yes, I am a believer in evolution. If I really wanted to piss people off, I would start talking about religion. hmm…

But in all honesty, if people continue to change their looks, and appear to be something their not, evolution is going to go completely haywire. Technology, which we feel is advancing our civilization, is in fact keeping us from progressing. By helping everyone, we are keeping the weaker in the running. How will we ever have a super race is we do that?!

Support Darwin. Kill a weakling today.

A friend of mine recently got pieced all along her ear, and it’s…different. I can’t say I love it, can’t say I hate it either. I think there is tasteful, and then there is… not tasteful. Personally, there are some piercings I can’t stand, and some I think are pretty.

Now, I love the cute, one hole in each ear. I myself, have my ears pierced. Of course, I have played with the idea of getting a second hole, but I figure that in a few years, I wont want it anymore, so I haven’t really bothered. Such piercings are simple and tasteful.

And then there is the ever popular bellybutton piercing. A lot of girls on my soccer team had this done, and I almost had it done myself, but then I saw the outrages pricing, $45 to stick a hole in my stomach? No thank you. I was also worried about playing soccer with it, had it gotten hit, I don’t think it would be been very pretty. My boyfriend commented recently that he actually likes this one, said it was cute. That made me think about it again, but I’m too lazy to try and get back that ridiculously flat stomach I had before so it still wouldn’t look too good. And many will argue my stomach is already flat now, but hey, I have standards, and I’m not showing off my stomach unless there are well-defined abs. Which… I do kind of have… Screw it, I just don’t want another hole in my body, okay?

Then there are the extreme amounts of ear piercings like the friend I was talking about earlier got. Now, she can pull it off, but some people seriously wear so many, I don’t understand how they can walk around with all the metal in their ears. It has to be heavy! My biggest problem is people who gage their ears. I think it is the ugliest thing ever. Apparently the African look is starting to get popular? Ever notice though, that you never see black people with it though? Mostly just the “edgy” white kids. Interesting… All those cool “punk” kids trying to stand out and not conform. But I don’t want to go there.

And I know I haven’t seen every kind of peircing out there, but I love how they are always trying to think of new ones. Like the one to the right. That’s insane! Yet, very interesting. I think it’s pretty, but I would never do it. It seems like something that isn’t very necessary. But hey, whatever floats your boat?

There are always the lip rings, the eyebrow rings, and the nose rings. Now, I know people like these, but honestly, I can’t stand when people ruin a pretty face with a huge piece of metal. Eyebrow rings and nose rings, I can take those. They can actually look half way decent, But I don’t lip rings ever look good. Plus, wouldn’t that be awkward for kissing? I know a kid at school, I see him in passing all the time, and every time I see him, I’m a little sad because he is so good-looking, and just ruins it with the lip ring.

And my only problem is tongue rings is their health risks. You can crack teeth and you can get serious infections, and if it is not done correctly, it can kill you! That in it self it enough to keep me away from it.

And the genital piercings? Oh my god. The moment you wake up and say to yourself “I think I want a hole in my penis/clitorus,” is the moment you know there is an issue. That just flat out…can’t be smart. But hey, if you’re into that sort of thing, again, it’s up to you. Have fun.

And lets be honest, there is a point where people need to stop, and it’s before they get to this. Ewwwwww! Tattoos and piercings are not bad, really, they can look good! But only if done in moderation. Like everything, some thing’s just need to be done in moderation. So pick the spot on your body where you want a hole, whether it be your penis, your tongue, or your ear, or even your nipples, and get that done. But seriously? Don’t go overboard. We know you do it for attention, and it’s not all that attractive. Some people can pull it off, some people can’t. The trick, I think, is finding your balance, and pulling that off.

Don’t end up looking like her!

So I saw 300 a few weekends ago, and I have to say, best movie I have seen in year. Yes, years. I haven’t enjoyed a movie that much since LoTR.

I couldn’t believe that this was originally a graphic novel. I had never heard of it before and was personally amazed. And I hear they did a pretty good job taking it from the book to the big screen. Although, we can all agree that it is not historically accurate in the least. But you know what, we are all okay with that.

After seeing this movie, Two things ran through my head. 1) I want to start my own Spartan community, and 2) I want to have a 300 party.

If not a Spartan community, than I just want my child to be a Spartan. I will teach him/her to fight and all that good stuff. I figure at the right age, I will release my child into the wild to learn to fight, kill, steal, etc. He/she will also fight wolves and not be affected by the cold.

I feel that this would be an excellent idea, mostly because I don’t want my child to ever get beat up, or retreat. I always admire a fighter.

As for my 300 party, I got the idea walking out of the theatre. The only reason I really want to have the party is so that I can dress up like the queen. She was HAWT! I pretty much want to BE her. My hair is already very similar to hers, I just need to make that costume.

Sometime during the summer I’m going to invite 300 people, and everyone has to dress up. I will be the queen, my boyfriend has already claimed the King. See I would use the character’s name, but I don’t know how to spell them, and I’m too lazy to look them up, and I don’t want to look like a dumbass. But continuing on. I also want to find someone to be the Persian king, as well as a few thousand people who will be Persians. This way, we can have all the hot boys dress up like Spartans, because honestly, no 6 pack? No one wants to see that. Plus, we need people to fight! There will be a large battle, where all the boys will fight and all the women will… look hot. Maybe I’ll get a senate together and find someone I can stab. Excellent.

I have to say though, the movie itself, was absolutely amazing. The cinematography was extraordinary. The angles, the effects, and how everything was done on a green screen? That must have been so hard to act! Not to mention how dedicated all the actors were to work out that much to get those abs? JEEZE! Not to mention, the costumes….were amazing. I want to be a Spartan.

Ever been in a really awkward situation, or just been in the middle of a really awkward silence? Personally, I like to label the situation by just saying “AWKWARD!” This usually helps the awkwardness pass.

Of course, sometimes it’s just fun to make things awkward. I for one, love to do this. Can’t think of a fun way to do it? Well, here is a dandy list.

- Ask someone what is the longest they have worn the same pair of underwear, after they answer, ask them if a week is two long. (and just hope to god their answer wasn’t long than that.)
- Yell “I’M BLEEDING OUT OF MY VAGINA” while someone around you is eating/drinking something red.
- Ask your room mate their record for how many times they have masturbated in one day.
- Ask your mom when the last time she and your father had sex. If she slaps you, claim child abuse.
- Take your shirt off and just go along as if nothing had changed. Best done at parties.
- When there is silence, yell “DEAD BABY!” (for every silence, a baby dies)
- Start a conversation with: “So I stabbed a hooker…”

Any to add? Please, I’d love to lengthen the list.

Making the world a more awkward place, one awkward silence at a time….

I’ve been on both Percocet and Vicodin in 4 months. I spent both Christmas and Easter stoned out of my mind. And it has made my family bearable. I can’t complain, it makes the pain go away, but at the same time it makes me sleep for hours. The interesting thing is their small, yet significant differences.

Percocet made me really spacey, couldn’t read anything because I would pass out at the site of words on paper. It took the pain away really well, and it was kind of an all over good feeling.

Vicodin made me really emotional. I actually bawled for a good 10 minutes for absolutely no reason.
My mother- “Why are you crying? Does it hurt??”
Me- “NO! I’m just really emotional!”

Always a fun time. Also made me really spacey, but kinda happy at times. I was really friendly with my cousins, which is very unusual. Of course my cousin was also drinking. It’s sad that we have to be under the influence to get along. Vicodin takes the pain away, then makes you really tired, which is basically how you feel the whole time you are coming down, then you sleep it off for at least 3 hours.

I also found that while napping, you can fall asleep really easily, and wake up really easily, and when you wake up, you are instantly awake. Unless the Vicodin has worn off, you aren’t groggy at all. That’s probably the best part.

And so now that break is over, I have to get back to work and class, but I’ve got this nice collection of pain killers. To sell? To take while in pain? Who knows.

I really just hope I don’t have to spend any more breaks stoned.