[ Guy Love ]

I love Scrubs. This song has also been a big hit a parties I’ve been to recently. Someone always seems to break out into this wonderful number.

van·i·ty
–noun
1.excessive pride in one’s appearance, qualities, abilities, achievements, etc

OR
self-con·fi·dence
–noun
1. excessive or inflated confidence in one’s own judgment, ability, etc.

—

A friend of mine called me vain the other day because I was looking in a mirror to fix my hair. Now, besides the fact that it did look like a rats nest and needed extreme attention, it bothered me that she thought me vain. Just because I care about how I look, doesn’t make me vain.

Of course, after fixing my hair, we went out and she later made the comment that I seemed very self-confident. So wait, first I’m vain–a bad thing–then I’m confident–a good thing. How can essentially the same thing be good and bad. Because I cared enough to look at myself in the mirror to tame the rats nest, I then turn around and be confident in how I look, so thats a good thing?

One would probably tell me that it’s once again, moderation that is the key in this situation.

I find that a certain amount of vanity is good for a person. I like to think that I worked hard to get the body I have, and I try hard to make sure I look nice. It matters what the world thinks of you, so obviously I need to make them think I’m a hot chick so they will give me more attention that will in turn get me ahead in life. Anyone who works out, and gets those washboard abs and incredible biceps through strenuous exercise deserves to admire their hard work and show it off. Of course, again, doing this excessively… never a good thing. And I define excessive as in the girls that are looking in every mirror they pass or at the compact mirror they carry with them every 10 minutes. And yes, it is possible for guys to be vain. The minutes they start looking in mirrors they pass and throw the Charlie’s Angel’s Hair Flip, then I draw the line. That’s just wrong.

But having a little vanity, I think, makes you more confident and able to take the day to day bashing hardships. If you worked hard, you deserve to be vain, and you deserve to be confident that you do look damn hot. It’s a shame though, that the two can be easily overlapped and have such a bad connotation.

I’ve been checking my ceiling. maybe you should to. bwahahaha

Now she is wearing a wig. This frustrates me. She should wear that bald head with pride! Or at least, she should have said she was making a statement for cancer patients everywhere. Or maybe she is making fun of cancer. That bitch! No one should make fun of the big bad C-word.

I’m going to be honest, when I saw that Britney Spears had shaved her head, I was actually shocked. I thought all her barefoot adventures, her divorce, and her cooch-flashing was just a publicity thing. Apparently there is actually something wrong.

Personally, I don’t think she looks all that awful bald. She just looks more… at home. She is more white trash than she could ever have even tried to be before. I wouldn’t be surprised if she started making appearances at white supremacy group meetings and joined the Skin Head clan. I bet her tattoo really means “White Power.”

All this talk about her making a cry for help, and her nothing knowing herself has really shifted some focus back to her. The problem with this: did anyone ever stop to wonder what happened to her kids? For a while, I forgot she even had kids. I don’t think she does, I think she sent them back to the store where she bought them. Maybe Kfed took them hostage in an attempt for more money. Little did he know that obviously, the public cares more about Britney’s hair than her kids, and we all know Britney doesn’t care about her kids, so I think Kfed probably lost in that deal.

Does anyone know the name of the second kid?

Britney is just trying to steal Anna Nicole Smith’s thunder.

And earlier today, I was watching tv and someone decided to ponder if Britney could ever be a pop star again. HAHA Of course not! She had kids! No one wants to sleep with her anymore, her voice is shot, and um… have you seen her lack of hair? She should start going by the name “Cue ball.”  For a while I also forgot she had a career before all this. Seriously, she has reached the level of Paris Hilton. Now she is famous for nothing but making headlines.

It’s sad.

And I’m willing to be money a bunch of girls now are going to want to get their head shaved. But on the bright side, I guess this means the Cancer Patient look will be totally in this season.

One thing that really grinds my gears is when people can’t park correctly. I don’t understand how its so difficult to put ones car in the middle of two white lines. It’s the worst at my Physical Therapy office that I am forced to go to two times a week, due to a recent surgery. Nothing serious, but building back muscle now. Anyway, maybe it’s because of the copious amounts of old people who go there, or maybe its because the spots are too small, but regardless, I have never seen a parking lot so full of people who can’t park.

I have to drive all the way to the back of the parking lot, off in the “dark corner” where the shady deal go down, just so I don’t get any dents in my doors. Yes, I do care about the condition of my car doors.

Sometimes though, like today, it’s rather cold out and I don’t feel like walking across the vast parking lot, like the lazy American I am, and I decided to park closer to the entrance. Of course, I am able to do a pull through into a spot, and yes, I checked, I was perfectly in the middle of the spot. Yet, SOMEHOW, I could hardly open my doors 6 inches either way. It’s a good thing I’m a rail because I had to shimmy my way out of my car. Had I eaten breakfast this morning, I probably would have needed to “oil up” and slip through the doors.

and all I am thinking as I walk into the office is if the guys next to me slams his door into mine and leave a mark, shit was goin’ down. I had his license plate and everything. When I came out, and the guy was gone, and luckily for him there were also no marks or dents. He got off easy this time. If there had been a mark, no doubt I would have gone felony assault on his ass… or at least his car.

Lesson: Stay the hell away from my car. It’s my baby!

And I didn’t take those pictures, but those are some prime examples of what I see EVERY time I go.

I hate Shakespeare. Hands down: Biggest Disappointment Ever. This is mostly coming from the fact that I am having to read The Tempest AGAIN, and I hate that particular play. Thank god for No Fear Shakespeare. Seriously, best idea ever.

I would also like to add that I’m starving. It’s what, 2pm? And I haven’t eaten yet today? I’m just sitting in front of my computer in my nice white fluffy robe and reading The Tempest. My stomach is rumbling, but I can’t get myself up to eat, or to go to the bathroom for that matter.

You know you have reached a new level of laziness when you are too lazy to get up to do thing that are vital to your survival. If I die, then I know it is evolution at its best. It’s probably best, the world doesn’t need any more lazy, robe-wearing, shakespeare-hating, people.

Of course this raises another question. I’m not nearly as lazy as fat people, and seeing as how I’m very skinny, this may be a result of the lack of food within my reach. So Americans, here is your solution to obesity. Put the food just out of arms reach, and because everyone is too lazy move to get it, they will lose weight rapidly from not eating. Brilliant.

I need out of this country.

Oh! I found some honey roasted peanuts! yay!

Earlier I was thinking about how much I like surprises and how I love to be surprised. Now, I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this. Who doesn’t love random little surprises like an email from a loved one or a spur of the moment plan? Not to mention, it’s a great way to win a girl’s affection.

So here’s a tip. Want a girl to like you more? Surprise her!

Now there are certain things that should be kept in mind when dealing with surprises. There are surprise guidelines and basics.

First, spontaneity is key. If you tell a girl you’re going to surprise her later that night, sure, it’s going to antagonize her all day, but she gets her expectations up. This could prove fatal for the actual surprise. If it’s not as good as she imagined it, then she wont like it as much. Sorry. So your best bet: Make it a true surprise. Sex on the other hand, is the exception to this rule. Better to make them think about it all day

Another fun kind of surprise is one that one has to find. For example, like I found recently, my boy left a comment on a friend’s blog about me that was really sweet. He has no way of knowing if I saw it or not, but it was there and it made me very happy. Thus, the surprise left to find is an excellent one, with great results, and can have a very good pay off later on. My boy’s comment will probably pay off tomorrow night teehee

Now, the biggest rule of surprises is that they shouldn’t come with strings attached or require payment. A surprise is a gift. Whether is a comment, flowers, jewelry, or a dinner at her favorite restaurant. Granted, it has the underlying purpose to get you laid, but you can let her believe its just because you want to make her happy. After all, the happier she is, the happier you are/will be later that night.

If everything is announced, or if everything is always the same, it gets boring. One needs to keep things exciting. Keep her on her toes. Make her wonder.

The key thing, keep the surprises spread out. Surprise her every day and she will come to expect them, and you’ll run out of ideas! A variable ratio is the best method.

and remember: Expectations breed disappointments. 

Pisces

The beginning of the week may be a bit rough for you, but have faith that the lessons you learn will serve you well. Although these lessons may hurt in the moment, ultimately they are teaching you a very important lesson about yourself, the one you love, and love in general. Perhaps you were looking at the situation from the wrong angle. Perhaps you were in complete denial about a giant piece of the puzzle. Perhaps you refused to accept the truth about a difficult aspect of your relationship. Or maybe you have been so out of touch with your own feelings and your own needs that you don’t know what they are any more. Keep in mind that if you don’t know what they are, there is no way that your romantic partner is going to know what they are. At that point, how can you even begin to expect your lover to cure your blues? This Sunday, as the Sun and the Moon conjure up a magic spell in your sign, take the bull by the horns and be completely honest with yourself and the one you love about how you feel.

 —

Sadly, this relates all too well. Sometimes I wonder about these things. Are they true or not? *tilts head, holds chin, ponders*

Oh, and

Happy Valentines Day!

*wink*